Issues on the Backend

11:09 AM

Warning!  This post is about poop.  If you have problems reading about poop - keep on clicking!


Cameryn has issues with poop.  She is of those kids that doesn't poop regularly, maybe once or twice a week.  And when it does finally come out, oh boy, it's an episode.  A twenty minute red-faced straining episode that ends in one giant ker-plop and a very happy little girl.  We have the super flush toilets so we have never had an issue with flushing the monsters away, but I've learned that visiting others that do not have the super flush toilets, creates an entirely new issue.  We learned at my mom's house during Christmas dinner and most recently we learned at Shana's house over the weekend.

It was a mess.  And definitely not my shining moment.  Cam said that she had to go, so she went and I looked at it and thought, "Oh, it's not a huge one, we should be fine."  (And yes, I realize how silly that sounds.)  But we weren't fine.  She flushed and started washing her hands and I watched the water swirl, the poop go down, and I saw the water rise.  Dear god.  I quickly reached down and turned off the water and asked Shana and Brad if they had a plunger.  So I plunged, thought we were in the clear and I flushed. And the water came overflowing out of the toilet all over the floor, on the rugs, and my shoes.  Disgusting.  I'm gagging and trying to stop the water and yelling for towels.  Meanwhile, Shana and Brad are laughing that one tiny little girl can produce such a large amount of poo.  (They have 6 kids between the two of them so they can laugh at this stuff.  I, meanwhile, was really embarassed.)  It took half a bottle of drain cleaner and a helluva lot of plunging from the three of us to finally get the poo to come clear.  But it didn't flush, oh no, that piece of shit came floating back into the bowl.  So what did this momma do?  I got a plastic fork and cup, speared it into the cup and threw it in the trashcan outside. 

I guess the next time Cameryn has to poop at their house we're either going home or to a public restroom.  Because poo spear fishing is not for me.

And yes, my child does eat a balanced diet.  We do add Benefiber powder to her drinks.  Her doctor said she's prefectly healthy, she just won't go.  She must get that from her Daddy.  Apparently his parents had to carry around plastic forks too.  Awesome.

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