White Out.

9:44 AM

I have this thing with white shoes.  I don't like them.  I never have and I never will.  I don't like white shoes after Memorial Day. I don't like white shoes before Memorial Day.  I don't like white shoes with heels.  I don't like white shoes on men, women, or babies.  I don't like them in the store.  I don't like them on my floor.  I don't like them in the mall.  Damn it, people, I don't like them AT ALL. 

If I see you in white shoes I will say something, probably out loud, about how ridiculous they are.  White shoes make your feet look big.  White shoes stand out no matter what you have on.  White shoes scream first day of school.  I will be sure to comment on how clean they look because you know that the people who are rocking their white shoes are also the ones who go home and clean off the scuff marks because their white shoes have to be bright white.  Like white out for your feet.

Just check these out...

And don't forget the most fashion forward teenager on the planet... In his white shoes.  That appear to be less white than his pants. 

By no means am I a fashionista.  I don't stay on top of current trends; I'd rather be classic than trendy.  

But white shoes, I WILL NOT. 

So.  Imagine me, in my less than mild chagrin, when my husband proudly held up these bad boys, bought for $3.50 on sale, just because they were $3.50 on sale.

Dear God.

White.  Flip flops.  In my house.  On my husbands feet.  He's worn them once.  I laughed, of course I laughed.  How could I not?  They are ridiculous.  He flip flopped his big white I-just-came-from-a-pedicure-shoes around the house all night...  I have asked him to not wear them in public - even to take out the trash.  Unless of course, he's taking them to the trash, that would be ideal.  For now, they reside in all of their glory on the floor of our bedroom where I am secretly hoping that they spontaneously combust.

A girl can dream.

You Might Also Like