The "Mom" Title

1:09 PM

Being a parent to a toddler may be the most challenging "job" that I have ever had.  I, generally, don't let my title as a "mom" define who I am, but being a mom is part of my life on a daily basis.  I, as a "mom", have a responsibility to teach my child the ways of the world and how to become a well-behaved, polite, and loving human being.

However, there are times that I would rather put a sign on her body "Free to Good Home!  Bring her back when she starts kindergarten!" and place her on the nearest corner.  (Side note:  I WOULD NEVER DO THIS!)  Sometimes I just want to wave the white flag.  We've all been there.  The screaming tantrums.  The incessant whining.  The constant need to be entertained.  Every age presents its own set of challenges.   Currently we're in the preschool stage, and preschoolers can be physically and emotionally draining. 

The best way to describe Cameryn is intense.  She's sensitive.  Serious.  Perceptive.  Determined.  Sweet, when she wants to be, and overall, a good child.  She listens to other adults, besides her parents.  She shows empathy towards others.  She is kind to animals and babies.  These days her temperament leaves much to be desired and I have found myself dealing with more daily tantrums that I have ever before, it has been quite the challenge.

....because she didn't want to leave the birthday party at our neighbors house.  It was the first time we'd ever been over to their house  She ended up grabbing a white blazer that was sitting on a near-by couch and attempting to use it as a blanket.  I had to pry it out or her hands and make her leave.
...because we refuse to let her fill her body with unhealthy food 24/7. 
...because Mommy told her to go to bed and Daddy wasn't home to stop Mommy from doing it.
...because she didn't want to go to school.

Always because she doesn't get her way.  Shocker.

Speaking calmly goes right over her head. You cannot reason with a two year old. For the most part, we try to give her choices (peas or carrots? milk or water? target or wal-mart?), to ask questions instead of commands, to let her know what's on the agenda for the day or for the next few hours but it seems that no matter how hard we try, tantrums are inevitable. 

I'm struggling to teach Cameryn how to deal with her emotions of frustration, disappointment, and anger. ( I have yet to learn THE LOOK that will obliterate the bad behavior.  My mom had the THE LOOK and it scared the daylights out of me.)  For example, this morning, after she had an accident she cried, screamed actually, because the matching shorts to her pjs were now soiled and I made her take them off, and therefore ended up in her room until she could calm down.  We have told her over and over again, to use words to tell us when she needs help, feels sad or scared, but in moments of toddler duress, words are slim to none.  I know that she felt as if she was spiraling out of control this morning and I wanted to comfort her (I know what it feels like when I get upset I can only imagine how it feels for someone her age), but at the same time, I cannot, and will not, condone her behavior of crying and screaming.  As usual, I ignored her as much as possible and waited a few minutes before I went in to hug it out.

I've discovered that most of the time when Cameryn has one of these freak outs, that the most effective way for the both of us to regain control is to simply just be quiet and give her a hug.  A big firm hug.  After our hug, we can talk calmy to each other and go about our day.  Why a hug?  A long time ago I read something about how autistic children benefit from a hug when they are feeling out of control because it causes something in the frontal lobe to trigger and help them calm down, so I tried it and, gasp! it works on toddlers too.  Most of the time a hug is the last thing that I want to do but it works for us, for now

This "job" as a mom is tough, it is constantly evolving.   I don't always have the answers.  I don't always want to care, or want to be involved.  But I do.  I am.  Sometimes it takes all that I have not to laugh at her when she's crying over something ridiculous.  But I do.  Sometimes I'd like to lock myself in my closet and ignore her when she's crying, oh wait, I've done that too.  Many times my "job" as a mom kicks my ass.  But, as long as my kid turns out okay - well behaved, polite, loving, maybe, just maybe, I've succeeded. 

And, maybe, just maybe, my title as a mom defines me so much more than I thought.

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