10:39 AM

The weekend was spent with friends.  Friday night I enjoyed wine and laughter.  Saturday and Sunday were spent laughing with friends and toddlers.  Chris and Spam finished painting the walls of our kitchen and living room.  The paint looks fabulous and there's nothing like a little paint to make your house feel new again.  We haven't hung any pictures back on the wall yet so I'm going to use this opportunity to find some of them a new home.


Sometimes I leave the tv on when I am trying to go to sleep, especially when Chris is working late, the noise is soothing.  However, I must have the tv on a show that I like to watch, even though I am not actually watching it.


I have been to the doctor twice in two weeks, both times I have been ashamed to step on the scale.  Why?  Because I am 9 pounds away from the weight that I was when I went into labor with Cameryn.  It's ridiculous.  I thought that it was my thyroid, but no, it's just because I am:  1) getting older, 2)  my body just isn't the same after having a child, and 3) I, apparently, just need to exercise more and eat a lot less.  So that's what I am going to do.  No, I'm not going to starve myself, but something, somewhere, has to give.  My clothes don't fit and I cannot afford to buy new clothes, but I also refuse to walk around looking like a stuffed sausage.  Yes, I realize that weight is just a number, blah blah blah, and that beauty is about how you feel inside... but overall I'm not feeling the love on the inside.
 I'm a work in progress, but the "progress" isn't coming along as fast as I would like.  In the five months that I have been working out on a regular basis, I have not lost one.single.pound.  I may lose a pound here and there but the next week, it's back and some weeks I gained more.  The doctor has no idea what is going on, it's not my thyroid.   I get enough sleep, I eat healthy food, I've cut back on calories, I exercise 4-5 times a week (sometimes more) and yet I am still considered overweight. 
It's maddening.  

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