The daddy's girl.

11:03 AM

Cameryn became a daddy's girl overnight and the week of Christmas I became chopped liver.  At first I was okay with it. I had been the "it" girl for three years, I wanted the break.  I needed the break. 

I loved that she didn't want me to bathe her or tuck her in.  I now had 30 extra minutes each night for me and it was a welcome change.  I loved that when she was crying, I could stand by and watch, instead of being the one to run and dry her tears.  I loved that I wasn't the one reading ten books to her while listening to Max and Ruby in the background. I loved that it wasn't me being force fed goldfish and fruit snacks, having tea parties with the Disney Princesses, and being told where to hide for a game of Hide n Seek.  I loved that I was able to walk out of the house without being covered in syrup kisses and powdered sugar handprints.

And then, it wasn't so fun anymore.  I felt a little left out.  I wasn't the one that she was so excited to see when she woke up.  I wasn't the one making her eyes light up when I walked in the door from work.  I wasn't the one that was able to comfort her.  In fact, most times, she cringed when I would try to hug her.  She screamed when I tried to help her.  She only wanted her Daddy to hold her, hug her, laugh with her.

My momma heart was breaking a little bit each time.  I was missing out on all of the mundane day to day moments that I once complained about before; my little girl was growing up and I was missing it.  The rush came to me all at once, the tears started flowing and I realized that I only had a few more months with just the three of us.  I know that I won't love Cameryn any less or baby Jane Doe any more, but there was this overwhelming feeling to soak up every minute of every day.  I wanted, desperately, to be a part of her funny little life.  I knew, deep down, that it was temporary, but every single time she said, "Don't touch me!  I want Daddy!", I broke.

And then, about twelve days after it all started, it happened.  I became part of her world again.  Last night she came running through the door with a big smile on her face, yelling "MOMMMMMMY!" 

Sweet, sweet relief.  That strawberry lollipop covered kiss never felt so sticky.

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