Disney wouldn't want the rights to this one...

11:38 AM

A few days ago someone on Twitter was asking if anyone had a funny story from their wedding, so I thought that I would put ours here. 

We got married seven years ago and to this day, our wedding is still the one that our friends talk about.  Not because of its beauty (and it was beautiful), not because OMG!  we got married (we did), not because my dress was so gorgeous (it most definitely was).  No, our friends talk about it because we had one hell of a party and more than one person made a fool of themselves.

I spent an entire year planning every detail of our wedding.  We were married at the Marriott Grande Dunes in Myrtle Beach.  I chose this resort, which had only been open a year, because it reminded me of the reorts that I vacationed at in Southeast Asia while growing up.  Plus, since most of our guests were from out of town, they would be able to vacation there if they wanted too.  The resort was spectacular and only had a few rules regarding the ceremony and reception (NO SWIMMING IN THE POOL.)  We knew that our wedding was going to be a big one and that putting our families in one room was going to be interesting, so an outdoor wedding and ceremony was ideal.  My family, is... well... to put it simply, crazy.  Chris's family is more reserved. 


I should have known that the day wasn't going to go exactly as planned when my uncle, who was not planning on attending, fell very ill the day before and was airlifted to VA.  His wife and son, along with my Nana, went to be with him.  I was so upset. I, selfishly, wanted my family (and we have a small family) to be there and luckily, my Nana was able to make it to the wedding at the last second. Then, the flowers arrived and they were all wrong.  The florist, who came highly recommended, was also doing an event at the convention center that weekend and apparently, shoved my wedding to the side.  My bouquet, which I had seen the day before and expressed to them that I was disappointed because they had used the wrong flowers, had been remade.  I had asked for white roses with the hot pink tips, yeah, those pink tips were now painted on half-dead yellowish roses.  And, because he knew he had made a HUGE mistake, he doubled the size of my bouquet to 40 roses.  40.  The thing was massive. 

Seriously, look at that bouquet.

While he was apologizing to me in our suite upstairs, my phone rang, it was my mom who was downstairs, saying that the flowers for the ceremony and reception had lilys in every container.  My dad is deathly allergic to lilys and wouldn't be able to go near them without risking a severe reaction.  I pulled out our contract, which had NO LILYS written in black marker across the top, "What part of this didn't you understand?", I asked him.  I was livid.  And then the florist, in all of his glory, walked out.  One of my bridesmaids made him come back to our suite where my dad expressed his extreme displeasure with his service and in the end, we received a pretty steep discount.  Needless to say, I did not recommend his services to any future brides!

The day went smoothly after that.  I got dressed, shed a few tears with my dad, walked down the aisle.  And then, right before our minister (my father-in-law) said, "You may kiss your bride!" out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of pink and then heard a big loud THUD. 

The guests gasped, people went running.  I turned to look and Chris grabbed me and said, "Don't turn around!  Just look at me, okay?"  Fat chance, buddy!  My maid of honor had fainted.  She had taken a pill the night before to get some rest (she flew in from LA) and then locked her knees.  She had taken a step forward to try to catch her balance (that was the flash of pink that I saw) and then stepped backward as she fell and luckily, she didn't hit her head too hard on the ceramic tile surface.  One of our groomsman is an NCIS agent and I swear he would have flown in a heliocopter if he had needed too!  Luckily, Beth, my MOH, is a good sport, she stood up after ten minutes and whispered to me, "I couldn't let the whole day just be about you!  Now, kiss him so we can party."  Beth is British and rarely lets anything get to her.  All of the people making such a big fuss about her fainting were driving her crazy.  Chris shook his head and said, "Only your friends..."

But the fun didn't stop there.  It was time to celebrate!

The reception was fabulous.  Chris and I aren't big fans of champagne so we had jager bombs and margaritas as our "signature" drinks.  We ate, we danced, we celebrated, there was even a little karaoke action.  Our college friends made up the bulk of our wedding guests and we had a big toast in honor of our friendship.

The time passed too quickly and it was time to leave as soon as it began (that's what it felt like to me anyway.)  My brother grabbed the sparklers to hand out to our guests and lit one a little too soon.  400 sparklers lit up at the same time and created a big fire ball, burning his hands.  He dropped them immediately while others started stomping out the flames.  Zach did what anyone else would do, he went looking for water to soothe the burn and found the one place we weren't supposed to go at 11pm - the pool.  We fished Zach out of the pool, laughing, made our exit under the sparkler tunnel, and headed to our suite upstairs (where we invited the guests that still wanted to party with us) and called down to the front desk to get medical supplies to soothe the burn.  He still sports a gnarley scar.

Meanwhile, our parents were downstairs cleaning up and saying goodbye to the lingering guests, thanking them all for attending and inviting them to our brunch in the morning.  I was watching upstairs from our balcony and I saw one more person take a dive into the pool.  I couldn't quite make out who it was but Chris just stood there shaking his head, "It has to be someone from your side," he said.  And he was right.

My mom, in her hand crafted silk-lace dress from Thailand, got the heel of her shoe caught in the grate of the pool and went tumbling in - arms flapping, legs kicking,  She came up, mascara running, hair a mess, sputtering.  If you know my mother, she is very prim and proper.  She was mortified.  When the group in our suite discovered who it was, we roared laughing.  Bless her heart, she came upstairs in a robe that the hotel had provided and wasn't pleased, at all, with our big grins.  The only thing that was injured was her pride.  I do believe it's still floating around that pool in Myrtle Beach.

Luckily, the shenahigans stopped there.  We had no more incidents.  Just a lot of funny photos and video.  The videographer was fantastic. My MOH falling has it's own chapter, as soon as you press play, she topples over.  My brother jumping into the pool has extremely dramatic music.  Unfortunately, my mom falling into the pool happened after our time had ended.  Our photographer, a friend of my brothers, was so stunned that he wasn't able to snap pictures. It's unfortunate.

Our wedding is a love story for the ages.


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