I don't have the Twitter.  But, if I did, here are some things you might have seen on myTwitter feed this past week, in order and in more than 140 characters, of course.

Friday:  My husband went to the grocery store and spent our weeks allowance on frozen and processed foods, white bread, two apples, a bag of grapes and a carton of strawberries. No veggies.  Man food, fo' sho'.  I've survived on oatmeal. #firstworldproblems

Saturday:  Gamecocks win!  DJ Swearinger is my hero.  Clowney is a beast.  Dylan Thompson has one hell of an arm.  I love my boys in the Garnet and Black!  #southcarolinaistherealUSC

Sunday:  The baby didn't sleep.  The three year old doesn't nap.  I've been up for almost 24 hours.  Thank god for my Keurig.  #coffeeismybff


Monday:  My husband has the day off, sends the kids to daycare, does a few things around the house.  I call home to check in at lunch and ask what he's doing.  He's watching a movie.  I try to have a conversation and he says, "Let me talk to you later.  I'm in the middle of this movie."  I hang up, resenting him a little.  When is the last time that I had a day to myself, at home, to sit in silence?  #jealousmama  


Tuesday:  #mykidsaredamncute 




Wednesday:  8pm, baby goes to bed, husband goes to bed, Cameryn goes to bed. 
8:30pm, Cameryn cannot hear the music playing in her room. 
8:45pm, Cameryn cannot get comfy.
9pm, Cameryn is still not comfy and is now crying.  I'm frustrated and tired, beginning to feel myself unravel.
9:15pm, Cameryn is still crying.
9:30pm, Cameryn is hungry.  DUH!  Because she should have been asleep an hour ago. 
9:45pm, Cameryn tells me that I didn't feed her.  (I did.)  And what I did feed her was junk.  (True, but its what she wanted for nighttime snack.) 
10:00pm, Cameryn is now screaming.  I go get a snack for her (apples and milk) and she refuses to eat it and instead sits and scream cries  I lose my shit, seriously.  I am yelling. 
10:05pm, I begin to remove toys from her room, which is what we do when she is not listening and having a tantrum.
10:05pm, I should have removed myself from her room at this point.
10:10pm, Chris wakes up and comes in to talk to Cameryn.  Who, calms down, eats her snack, rolls over and goes to sleep.
10:15pm, Chris says to me, "Are you going to let her go to sleep or are you going to yell at her some more?"
10:15:30pm, I realize I'm an ass and acting just like my mother.
 #parentingfail   #IdontwanttobemymomwhenIgrowup   #mykiddrivesmeinsane  #needbeerfordinner   #Iamtheworstmommyever