9:45 AM

  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James

We spend so much time wanting, desperately, what we don't have.  Telling ourselves that we need more.  We compare others lives to our own, taking our own apart, bit by bit and telling ourselves that it isn't enough. 

When you put yourself, your life, under a microscope you become your own worst critic.

What you don't see is the internal struggle of the other person, what they could be going through.    All you see is what you don't have. All you see is what you want.

What you don't see is the day to day grind that wears them down.  That eats at them.   That makes them feel less than what they are.  You don't see that all they want is for someone else to be the air and not the sunshine.  All you see is what you don't have. All you see is what you want.

Ironically, we spend more time being jealous of others failing to realize their happiness ended long before our jealously.

My life is far from perfect.  I have flaws.  My family has flaws.  Chris and I have a normal marriage.  We disagree.  We laugh.  We joke.  We disagree again.  Each year our marriage gets better because each year I feel like we figure something else out... we realize what is important and what isn't, that the little day-to-day shenanigans just don't matter. Do I get frustrated with him?  HELL YES.  Does he get frustrated with me?  HELL YES. 
But I also know that the laundry can pile up.  The bathrooms can skip a deep clean.  I don't have to have a perfect house.  I don't have to have the best of everything. 

Except me.  I have to have the best of me.  I won't compare the beginning of my story to the middle of yours.

I have to make myself happy.  By laughing with my family.  By spending time with my friends.  By running off steam.  By bench pressing more than the day before.  By taking the puppy outside for the umpteenth time.  By kissing my babies and my husband.  By going to bed each night and wondering how tomorrow could possibly be better than today.

 We all struggle to find joy in the journey and not the destination.  That's part of it.  Finding joy.  Your own joy.  The kind of joy that encircles you like a halo.  That you roll around in when everyone is looking because you're that sure, that confident in the you that you have created. 

And you should be.

You Might Also Like