Organically Grown

4:07 PM

She's crawling. Our life will never be the same. I tried to prolong the inevitable by pushing her over gently when she tried to crawl or just handing her the toy she was after. I sent her to daycare on Monday, a normal, stationary baby and she came home crawling. I clapped. I cheered. I cried. She's just a baby. My 8 month old baby.  This growing up stuff and reaching milestones and all of that other nonsense? It can stop. Please and thank you.

This morning when I dropped off the girls at daycare I was joking with one of the owners and said, "Why did you let her crawl?  Didn't you know that's not supposed to happen?  I just knock her over!"  He laughed and had me repeat myself for his wife, who was clearly not amused.  She informed me that I was "terrible" and that Jordin was "behind and should already be in the waddlers class (the walkers) by now" and that I shouldn't be "hindering her development."

Excuse me?  I think not.

I didn't defend my actions, or my child.  I stood there, and I laughed a little, and said, "She's 8 months old.  Crawling is normal.  I just didn't want it to happen now."  I left it at that and mainly because her statement and way of thinking is just asinine.  Jordin is 8 months old and developmentally on track.  I know this because I spend every single day with her.  Talking, playing, singing, feeding, changing, watching, listening...  I also know that most children crawl between 6- 12 mo but every child is different and holding each child to the same standard is just ridiculous. 

I don't think that I'm going out on a limb here by saying that we all raise our children to the best of our ability and we do so in the way that is the best for us, as their parent.  My children are happy and healthy little girls.  By most standards they're considered "normal" and for someone who works with children on a daily basis to tell me otherwise?  I do have a problem with that.  I'd like to go tell her to reread some of her early childhood educ. manuals, but that wouldn't be kind of me.  I'd like to tell her that her judgement has no place in her career.  That just because she spends a few moments with my child doesn't make her an expert.  Sure, she's a parent, she's a child care owner, but she's not the parent to my children and until she's paying their bills, she has absolutely no right to judge me or say things about them that are foolish.

I've faced some of the worst judgement at our own daycare, at the hands of people who are all just like me.  And I find it disgusting.  Disgusting that people think that just because they think that they know me that they can spout of something about me or my child and that I won't react.  I will, in my own time, in my own way.  Quietly.  Kindly. 

Even this past weekend I was approached at Panera by a complete stranger, a young male who was visiting from Tampa, FL, who walked up to me, and said, "WOW!  That baby looks heavy!  What do you feed her?!"  Obviously fast food.  Every dayAll day long.  No.  I didn't say that.  But I wanted too.  Instead I just said, "She's a sweet girl  God made everyone different.  Have a great day."  The couple behind me chuckled and as he walked away the wife said, "I cannot believe some people.  Your baby is gorgeous." 

I find this way of forcing standards on our children mind numbing.  We feed our children organic, healthy food because it's what is best for them yet we forget that they should learn and grow organically as well, because it's what is best for them.  There is so much judgement in our world today and instead of beating ourselves up over what our kids should be, we should just let it happen.  Stop comparing your kids to other kids (or yourself to others!). Don't measure their accomplishments based on somebody else's results.  A quote that I read on a blog earlier this week, I think it was Raven's said, "You will never be able to tell in a room full of doctors which ones have been breastfed as babies."   Think about that for a second.  Because it's so incredibly true.

In the grand scheme of things does it matter that Jordin crawled at 8mo instead of 6mo?  Absolutely not.  She's going to terrorize her sister either way.  She's going to run and walk with all of the other kids in her kindergarten class.  Or maybe she won't.  Maybe she'll stand to the side and watch them play.  Because that is what is best for her. 

I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  I'm just tired of the constant judgement.  Tired of the should be and could be comments.  Tired of other people trying to make me feel like a failure.  So let's stop.  We live in a world of so much judgement over such simple things that just doesn't matter.  It's our job, as parents, to make sure that our kids know what is important. And as parents, we need all the support we can get.  So let's support each other.  Deal?


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