Lights & Sirens

10:08 AM

The day started out normal enough. I took the kids to daycare and went back home. I decided to work from home that day since I had spent the week before in California on business  I returned from CA late Friday night only to jump in the car early Saturday morning and head to Raleigh to celebrate my nephew's birthday. I was exhausted. Jordin had been up most of the night with another soon-to-be diagnosed ear infection. 

I booted up my computer, returned a few emails, and then went to tidy up around the house for a few minutes (the perk of working from home!)  I went back to my desk to return a few more emails when I realized that I needed more coffee.  I was standing at the sink rinsing my coffee cup when I heard it.

A man's voice.


I dropped my cup in the sink and froze.  What the eff was that?  And why was a man's voice coming from inside my house?  I looked up to see if one of our friends had come in the front door because sometimes he'll come to borrow a tool or something.  No one was there. Door was locked.  I immediately started to shake.  My stomach went into knots.  What the eff was that?  I must have said it over and over and over in my head.  I grabbed my cell phone and walked slowly, quietly to Cameryn's room, looking for the dog.  Because maybe, just maybe, the dog was throwing up.  Nope.  He was sound asleep.  I ran through the house and grabbed my purse and hightailed it out the front door.  I locked the door on the way out thinking that if someone really was inside my house and after me that a locked door might slow them down just a bit.  Completely logical, right?

I sat in my car in the driveway, doors locked, watching the windows and the door.  What the eff is going on?  I called Chris, frantic.  I never call Chris at work.  Ever.  But if I do it's because it's an emergency.  He picked up and I immediately said, voice shaking and beginning to cry, "Is someone coming over that you forgot to tell me about?  Because I was standing in the kitchen and I heard a man's voice say "YEEEAAAH!"  Like a drunk person says "YEEAAAH!"  I think there's someone in our house.  I don't know what to do."

I didn't say, "I don't know what to do" because I was planning on going back into the house thinking I was some kind of ninja and going to fight this guy off.  I said it because I wasn't sure if there really was someone inside my house.  But I know what I heard.  I work from home and I know the noises that the house makes.  This was a sound that didn't belong. 

"Call the police, Laurin."

"I don't know.  I just don't know."

Chris called the police.  I called my best friend. I needed to see someone normal. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn't losing my mind completely.

The few minutes that I sat in my car by myself must have been the longest of my life.  All of those worst case scenarios were playing out in my head.  Stephanie showed up before the police did and she brought her brother-in-law who was in town visiting.  And then the cavalry showed up.

Lights blazing.  Sirens on.  They responded in code.  I just knew my neighbors were wondering what we did now.

The first officer showed up and I explained to him what had happened.  I gave him the key to my house and he walked the perimeter, waiting for another officer to show up.  The second officer arrived, I told my story again, and they walked the perimeter again.  The the third officer showed up.  They started to walk towards the door and they turned and asked if there was anything that they needed to know.  I let them know that my 125-lb Bullmastiff was in the front bedroom.  They asked if he was aggressive and I almost laughed out loud.  Obviously he's not aggressive to people because if he was, the guy inside, if there was a guy inside my house, wouldn't be saying "YEEEAAAH!" he'd be crying out in agony.  But I didn't say that, I just said, no, he's not aggressive but he's never been in this situation either.  And then they said, "Ma'am, we're going to need you to get your dog out of the house." 


Three officers entered my house.  Guns drawn.  I stood on the porch waiting for the go ahead to get Porter.  They motioned for me to come in and I can see Porter standing in the middle of the living room.  He's agitated.  Two officers are standing with their guns pointed upstairs (because it was the only place that I hadn't been that morning) and one officer is saying, "Come on, boy, come on."  Porter won't budge.  Why would he?  There are three strange men pointing guns at him.   One of the officers finally moves towards the stairs and Porter can now see me.  I start to walk towards him but the officers immediately stop me and tell me that I cannot go any further.  I tell them that I cannot take my dog outside without a leash.  He's 125 lbs and if something does go down, I cannot control him without a leash.   Lord help me if another dog walks by, I'll be getting a ticket because Porter ate it.  Eventually Porter comes to me and I take him outside on the front porch.  Waiting.  Stephanie and and her brother in law are standing behind her car and I can see another officer standing with them.  Porter also sees them and he's confused as to why he cannot go see them but he's also still agitated. And then I look right and I see more police cars lining the road.  Six officers responded.  Six.  Because obviously our little town has nothing else going on at 10am on a Monday morning than to protect me.  Thank god.

The officers inside did a full sweep and found nothing but a lot of dust bunnies and some closets that definitely need some spring cleaning.  I thought my house was presentable until three officers went through it.  Good grief.

I apologized profusely for wasting their time.  They assured me that it was their job and that they didn't mind at all.   But I'm sure that they were having a good laugh at my expense later.  And since the couple next door are both police officers I'm sure they loved the story as well.  (Side note:  The man next door is a detective and heard the call go out on the scanner while he was on duty.  His wife is on night rotation and was sound asleep next door.) 

The officers should have saved me from myself.  Anyone who has ever wondered why the blog was named Searching for Sanity?  This is a prime example as to why. 

I called Chris and let him know that it was a false alarm.  He was relieved and more than slightly amused.  Turns out that when he called the police he reached out to a friend who has some connection to the police department and she had the call go out in code to the responding officers, which is why six officers came with sirens, lights, and guns blazing.  It's good to know people.  Even when it is just a sleep-deprived mom hearing noises in the house and needs to be protected from herself.

I spent the next hour at Stephanie's house, waiting for my blood pressure to return to normal before returning home and getting back to work.  I still don't know what the sound was.  The officers and Chris thought maybe it was a toy.  I'm still saying no.

For the next few days, I had several texts at 9:30am asking me if anyone had broken into the house that day.  My friends and family... such smart assses.



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