Do you ever have those moments when you just feel good?  Like the entire universe aligned in your favor and you have an extra spring in your step?  I felt like that most of the day yesterday.  I was extremely productive at work, I ditched the yoga pants for real clothes and made it into the office and finished my to do list in a few hours. I hit the grocery store and stocked up on healthy food.  I uppped my speed during my run and knocked out a few miles.  I also got an itch to DIY and spray painted some lamps that I had lying around and added them to my living room.  My husband wasn't a fan and I just smiled and told him that they may not match the room now, but I'm adding color to our house to make it more "me" and he'll see the big picture eventually.  I'm not sure why I had this smiley, happy, unicorns and rainbows kind of attitude, but I liked it.

Maybe it's because last week is over and I am so glad that I can put it behind me.  To put it simply, last week was hell on wheels.  Saying goodbye to Porter was tough and it took Chris several days to come to terms with goodbye.  Our house was so quiet with Porter gone and Cameryn at my mom's for the week, it was strange.  For the first time in 13 years, we didn't have a dog.  So, we decided that we would get one and we started searching for the best dog for us.  We finally found one on Thursday, she is half French Bulldog and half Boston Terrier, a Frenchton (or Froshton.)  We really wanted a French Bulldog but they are so expensive plus they have a lot of health issues, but by breeding a Frenchie with another breed the health issues are diminished.   I sent a picture of the puppy to my mom and asked her to show it to Cameryn, just to see what she said.  Luckily, she said that the puppy was "super cute."  We'll pick up the puppy on Friday.  We've already named her, she has a bed and a crate (which is a new thing for our family) and Chris and Cameryn painted a dog food table for her food bowls. 

Chris and I worried all week about Cameryn and how she would react to the news of Porter's passing.  She was home for about thirty minutes before she asked where he was. 
I took a deep breath and said, "Well, baby, Porter had to go to dog heaven." 
Her face fell and she said, "While I was gone?" 
"Yes.  He was very sick and there wasn't any medicine to make him better.  But he knew how much you loved him.  He loved you, too.  So much."
And she sobbed.  I held her tight and after about ten minutes I said, "Do you remember the picture of the puppy that Grandma showed you?"
She nodded.
"Well, that puppy is yours.  I bought that puppy and we can pick it up in 7 days."
The tears still rolled but her eyes were a little brighter.  She gave me a big hug and said, "My own puppy?  A little puppy?  I'm so excited!" 
Without our puppy, I'm really not sure that she would have taken the news about Porter as well as she did.  She hasn't asked to read the book, Dog Heaven, which means that she's probably not ready to talk about it yet.  She does make little comments here and there, "We don't have a puppy in our house.  My puppy went to heaven."  or  "Mom, you might need to sweep the floor because we don't have a puppy clean up the food that falls on the floor."
Sigh.  She's sad about Porter.  We all are.
And I am a firm believer that a kid should never be without a dog if the family can make it happen. We're a dog family.  We need a dog.  Four more days.

In the midst of all of the dog drama, Jordin had her first ENT appointment on Tuesday.  She has little to no hearing in her left ear, which scares me but I know that it can change so quickly.  Thursday morning, she had tubes placed in her ears.  The entire procedure, from the time that I left her to when I saw her in recovery, lasted less than 10 minutes and she was under for less than 5.  You know how everyone says how awesome tubes are.. How they'll help so much and your child will be so happy!  Yeah.  No.  Not Jordin.  I told Chris that if Jordin doesn't start sleeping and stop whining 24/7 that we will have the tubes removed.  She has not been as happy as usual since the tubes have been in place.  She didn't sleep for 3 days, less than 5 hrs a night and a 20 minute nap each day.  Hopefully, she can grasp some of my smiley, happy, unicorns and rainbows kind of attitude, and quickly!  I'm chalking up her lack of sleep to her hearing, maybe it's improved and she's over stimulated.  Plus, she's now pulling up and wanting to stand all the time, she's beginning to cruise along the furniture but just a few tiny steps. 

Last week is over.  Thankfully. 
It's a new week. 
A new day. 
A fresh 24. 
What will you do with yours?

Nightime with Cameryn has become a bit of a challange.  She is suddenly afraid of things that go bump in the night.  I'm sure that it's a phase, one that all three year old go through, but it's taxing nonetheless.  There are currently two nightlights in her room and she always asks me to turn on a third, to which I say no, I might as well leave her overhead light on!  This makes her little bottom lip quiver and she says, so quietly, "But what if something happens to me?"  I try to assure her that nothing will happen to her, that mommy and daddy would never let anything happen to her and that we aren't that far away.  We pray together and ask Jesus to keep us safe from harm.  And then?  Two nights ago she also asked Jesus if she could have Raider back. 

Que shattering heart! 

We all miss the big dog.  It's been almost a year since we had to put Raider down and we still haven't told her that he died, only that he went to heaven, to be with Jesus.  She'll pick up her book about dog heaven every now and then and we'll sit and read and cry.  I asked Chris if we should tell her that he died.  Last year she wasn't old enough to comprehend what was happening, but now, at 3 and a half, she understands that people and animals die.  Chris said no, that she still didn't need to know, that she was still too young, too fragile, to hear that.  Part of me agrees and I want to protect her, still, from knowing that Raider won't come back.  But seeing her, with her eyes closed, talking to Jesus, asking him if she can have Raider back now... that part of me needs her to know that he isn't coming back.  But, she also has this newfound fear of 'forever' things.  When we send her to her room for whining she cries out, "But I don't want to stay in my room forever!"  So, telling her that Raider won't come back, ever, just seems like more torture for her.

Poor Cam.  Three is such a tender age.

We took a little trip to Myrtle Beach over the weekend.  Chris and I were engaged and married there, so going back is always a bit nostalgic.  We had a great time, even if it was slightly cool and rainy!  A mini-vacation to the beach, in the rain, is absolutely better than no vacation at all.  However, I was exhausted by the end of three days.  Being on your feet for hours, almost 30 weeks pregnant, is no joke (either that or I'm just weak!)

We arrived about 3pm on Friday afternoon and headed out to Broadway at the Beach since it is extremely kid friendly and also close to our hotel.  The kids had a great time walking in and out of the shops.  Cameryn was intrigued by the WonderWorks upside house and we had to go back a few times just so she could check on it to be sure that it hadn't collapsed.  We had dinner at Senor Frogs and finished just before the craziness ensued!











Saturday it rained off and on, all day.  Poor Cameryn, to say that she was excited to actually go to the beach was an understatement.  She was devastated when it was too cold (barely 70!) to swim in the pool or stick her feet in the ocean.  We decided to walk around Barefoot Landing and run in and out of the shops while in poured.  While we were there we saw that they had a Tiger Preservation Station and Chris immediately went to see what it was all about.  Unfortunately, they didn't open until 5pm and it was noon, and after a little research, we discovered that they would have tigers to watch but that they also offered pictures.  With a tiger cub.  Or a wolf cub.  Or a monkey.  I think that everyone knows that our family is slightly animal obsessed.  Chris and Cameryn were both super excited, however, I was a little leary of the cost because it wasn't cheap.  We ended up going back at 5pm, in the pouring rain, but we only told Cameryn that she would be able to see the tigers, we didn't promise her a picture because we just weren't sure that we wanted to shell out the money to hold a tiger. 

I love weekends that leave you smiling long after they are over and that's exactly how I feel after this past weekend.  Little moments sneak back into my mind and I am laughing all over again.  We headed up to Charlotte to see our dear friends Janette and Kyle.   Who, by the way, are so ridiculously good looking that standing next to them makes me squirm.  I think its the hair.  They are also so, gooey happy in love (you can read that story here and here). I mean, he bought her roses on Sunday just because.  Sigh.  Newlyweds.

 
Anyway.  Back to our weekend.

Thankfully, after a Saturday morning of storms, the sun came out and we headed up to the Lazy 5 Ranch.  We had the best time!  We opted to drive through in our truck instead of taking the wagon ride, and of course, my camera battery died first thing.  (Note to self:  CHARGE THE BATTERY BEFORE A TRIP!)  But that didn't stop us from playing paparazzi with the animals who are absoutely the biggest camera hams and so much fun!  They would come right up to the windows for feed and stick their heads in your lap if they thought it would get them some extra grub.  Even the ginormous bull wasn't afraid.. but we were.  There was no way in hell that we were feeding the bull or allowing it to stick its head in our window.  See that bull in the picture below?  Its entire head was in the window of the car in front of us.  Whoa.

Here's another post about animals.   I'm not one of those crazy animal people, really, I'm not.  But I do love my dogs and they provide a lot of entertainment in our house.

Chris packed up his winter clothes and left them in a bag next to his side of the bed, which is about 3 feet away from his closet.  I never asked why he did it but I refused to move it.  So it just sat there.  All summer.  It's been a giant purple eyesore, but I just refused to move it.  My husband, who is obviously not a clean freak, throws clothes on top of the bag.  Clothes that are dirty.  Clothes that are clean.  Clothes that he only wore for a few hours and plans to wear again (but he never does!)  Recently, he started taking the winter clothes out of the bag, but the bag is still there.  Winter clothes are spilling out of it.  He kicks off his shoes there too, so now the shoes are beginning to multiply.  His semi-clean already worn clothes are starting to pile up.  It's a mess.

Saturday night our 115-lb Bullmastiff decided that he wanted to forgo his warm dog bed... because the duffle bag was calling his name!  He tried and tried but he just could not fit inside of that bag and he settled for laying on top of it, snuggling with Chris's warm clothes.  Last night he did the same thing and he was sound asleep this morning when I was getting ready for work.  I couldn't help but take pictures.




Oh, and the reason why Chris bagged up his clothes?  (I finally asked after 6 months.)   He needed more hangers.

Two weeks ago, Chris rescued a dog.  He was outside working in the garage when a little black, bow-legged, raggedy old dog walked up to him.  The dog had a collar on but no tags.  He seemed tired so Chris gave him some water and then walked him around for a little bit asking the neighbors if they knew who the dog belonged to, but no one knew.  So, Chris did what any animal-loving person would do, he decided that we would keep him overnight and take him to Pets, Inc. in the morning if we hadn't heard anything.  He named him Buster, took the dog inside and introduced him to our giants, and gave him a bath.  Our dogs were fine with Buster, though Buster wasn't crazy about them at all.  Chris took Buster with him to pick up Cameryn from school just in case there was a scuffle with Buster and the giants while he was gone.  Cameryn adored that little black dog and it was love at first sight.  She liked that he could sit in her lap. 

I was at work while all of this was going on.  I printed off some FOUND DOG posters and Chris hung them up around the neighborhood when I got home but we didn't receive any calls.  Poor little guy wouldn't eat anything but a dog biscuit and would follow Chris where ever he went, I felt terrible because I knew that this was someones dog and they were probably worried sick about him.  Buster and Chris slept on the couch that night.  Chris tried to get into the bed, but Buster jumped up and down and whined because he couldn't get up.  I didn't want the dog on the bed (because then the other two would think that they could get on the bed!), so Chris and Buster shared a blanket on the couch. 

Cameryn woke up at 5:30am and was thrilled that Buster was still there.  Chris's phone rang at 6:50am, it was Buster's owner and he was so relieved that we had his little black bow-legged dog, whose name was actually Henry!  We told Cameryn that Buster's Daddy was coming to get him.  She was so sad.  Chris took Buster outside and Cameryn cried and cried until I walked her out so that she could say goodbye.  Buster's owner was so thankful that we had given him a good home for the night.  He lives just a few houses away from us, but we had never seen him because they have a fenced in back yard - the grandkids left the gate open and Buster got out.  He is quite the little escape artist!

Cameryn still asks about Buster every now and then.  Last night, someone knocked on our door, when I opened it, there was Buster's dad with a gift!  I told him that he didn't have to bring us anything but he said that Buster would have had a fit if he didn't say thank you.  Cameryn opened the gift -a holiday pillow and blanket.  I asked her if she would like it on her bed and she said "No, it's Busters!"  She carried it out to the living room and put the pillow on her chair and the blanket behind it. I know that she is waiting for him to come back one day!  And he just might, but at least we can take him home.  The gift, and seeing Cameryn's reaction, warmed my heart last night.  We have so much to be thankful for during this Holiday Season.



To:  Our Friends                  From:  "Buster" For Taking Care of Me



I'm a pet owner.  I certainly don't claim to know everything that there is about animals, how to raise or how to train an animal, but I do have pets that are well trained.  I do have strong opinions about pet owners and their responsibilities to their pets.  There have been several stories in the news about abandoned animals.  Animals left out in the cold.  Animals being abused.  There was recently a story in the Upstate of SC of a dog being set on fire, just because.  This kind of behavior is despicable.  I don't condone cruelty to animals and I would like to "do unto others" in these situations.  I feel that if you choose bring an animal (or a child!) into the world that you have a responsibility to care for them in every sense of the word.

That being said, IMHO pet owners have a responsibility to train their pet and give them the boundaries that they need.  Yes, in case you were wondering, we are avid Dog Whisperer watchers in our house.  We have read his books.  We have tried his techniques.  They work.  But if, and only if, you take the time to work with your dog.    Chris has much more experience than I do training animals and as much as I bust on him for being "Mr. Animal Planet", I do appreciate and respect his opinions on behavioral training. Chris has worked long and hard with our two dogs to ensure that they are not dangerous to other people or to other animals.  He has also worked with Cameryn to be sure that she knows how to behave around our dogs and how to approach a strange animal. That being said, yes, we have had a previous incident with our Bull mastiff having aggression towards animals that come onto our property "uninvited", so we are definitely not perfect or strangers to dog aggression issues.  Since then, we have gone back to basics and worked to make sure that it does not happen again. 

My mother has two dogs, a Cocker Spaniel and an English Bulldog, both female.  They are her 'babies'.  Both have similar, minimal training which has resulted in bouts of chaos.  They have no boundaries, no rules, no limitations.  They get little exercise.  The Cocker Spaniel is seriously the most hyper dog I have ever seen.  She NEVER calms down.  Recently, they have been fighting.  The Cocker Spaniel instigates it and the Bulldog reacts.  The Bulldog, being the stronger of the two, actually tore tendons in the Cocker Spaniel's leg.  Naturally, my mother blamed all of the aggression the Bulldog because she is stronger.  Dogs don't bench press, they don't know their own strength- it's not the Bulldog's fault just because she's bigger and stronger!  We have encouraged my mom to get in home training because she may end up hurting herself when trying to break up their fights.  She instead chose to go to a Behavioral Specialist that took blood to see if either of them were hormonally imbalanced and GASP! both of them came back normal (DUH!)   Last night my mom was bit on the face.  Both dogs were on her bed and my mom was attempting to get into bed.  I don't know exactly what happened but the Bulldog bit her on the face.  After a late night trip to the ER and a few stitches later, my mom is okay.  For now.  What happens next time? 

I am tempted to hire an in-home dog trainer for my mom but know that she will be offended.  She has no control, but needs to gain some quickly before her house, literally, has gone to the the dogs.

I'm disappointed today along with a dose of more than slightly annoyed.  There is a new, unexpected and reoccurring trend in my life right now that I would really like to kick in the ass and drag by the ears all the way to the dump.  I'm hoping that it won't be a permanent trend, but for right now, it sucks.  I don't like being blown off by people that I care about.  I feel used.  I'm a good friend.  I deserve to be surrounded by the same. 

***

My dog wanted to go outside at 2am.  He started panting like it was 100 degrees in our house but really his Saint Bernard cold weather sensors went off and he just wanted to go outside and lay in the really cold grass for awhile.  I was annoyed, naturally, but when I opened the door to let him out I was awestruck by how clear the skies were.  The stars were incredible little jewels and I felt like I had my own magical, twinkling, secret gift at two in the morning.

***

Cameryn has discovered her nose.  She tells us when she has a booger and then she goes for it before we can get her a tissue.  Yesterday I told her that there were germs in her nose and that she should keep her fingers out of it.  She said, "Germs?  Oh, okay."  And that was it.  She didn't go digging for the rest of the evening.   This was the conversation last night when I was putting her to sleep:

 C:  "No picking nose.  Germs in there?"

 "Yes, Cameryn, germs in are your nose.  When you pick your nose you get germs on your hands and then germs on your toys." 

C:  "Oh. Germs on fingers.  Germs on toys.  Germs on the floor.  Mommy has germs?  Daddy has germs?  Madison has germs?  William has germs?"

"Yes, Cameryn, we all have germs.  We don't want to share our germs."

C:  "Share, Mommy!  Be nice!"

"No, Cameryn, we share our toys, but not our germs.  Don't share germs."

C:  "Oh.  Okay.  No share germs.  No pick nose.  Germs in there.  Why?"

"That's right, germs are in your nose, don't pick it.  Please go to sleep, Cameryn."

C:  "Germs go to sleep too?"

The mind of a two year old is a wondrous thing.  And yes, the first thing that she did this morning was point to her nose and say, "Germs in there!"  I'm glad that the point got across.

***

The battery in my car had to be replaced.  Normal maintenance of a car owner.  However, the heart of my car is the technology package which works off of a code.  The battery replacement forced a reset of the computer in my car that needs to be activated with the code.  The secret code.  The code that I have tried to guess over and over.  The code that forces me to be SOL and riding down the rode in silence.  Because my radio won't work.  My cd player won't work.  The freaking 1980's cassette player in my 2008 car won't work.  I cannot even plug in my ipod.  I do however, get to see an annoying red light that continuously flashes and lets me know that my anti-theft is working and tracking.  Damn technology. 

***

It's cold outside.  I like it.  Because it feels like Christmas.  And that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Two year olds have obsessions.

Cameryn is animal obsessed.  (She truly is her father's child!)

Earlier this year, Cameryn found the first Shrek DVD in our entertainment unit and I put it in for her to watch.  She was in love.  She carried around a plastic Shrek toy for months.  We couldn't leave the house without it.  We have Shrek coloring sheets.  Shrek stuffed animals.  We have had to watch the Shrek Holiday specials over and over and over.  Most little girls, when they talk on their pink play phones, call their Mommy and Daddy.  Or their BFF.  Or their Grandparents.  Not my kid.  She calls Shrek.  Or "Hee-Haw" (aka Donkey.) 

I have been talking to Cameryn about The Christmas Story and the Birth of Jesus.  A few weeks ago, my mom bought Cameryn the Little People Nativity Sets so she has something to reference on a daily basis.  The first set is the Inn at Bethlehem, which contains the Inn, Innkeepers, and a few animals.  Each morning on the way to school I tell her about the birth of Baby Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas.  She pays me no attention until I tell her that there are animals at the Inn, then she gets excited and talks nonstop them, asking a million questions.  I am hoping that she will have the same enthusiasm about Baby Jesus soon too.  (But not like the Ricky Bobby enthusiasm from Talledega Nights.  Jesus did grow up.  "He was a man!  He had a beard!")

Cameryn talks in her sleep.  I can never figure out if she is actually sleeping or if she is awake so many times I have to go into her room just to be sure.  The past few nights she has been awake.  Monday and Tuesday night I went into her room and she told me that there were frogs.  Couldn't I hear them?  Wednesday night she told me that there were baboons in her closet.  I can chalk this up to an active imagination and too many trips to the zoo.  But yesterday?  Yesterday when she woke up, she insisted that there was an owl by her door and as we walked out of her room she said that it was flying up the stairs and that she wanted to go touch it.  I played along for a minute and then I realized that this kid was serious.  She saw an owl!   The only thing that I could think about was that silly owl from Harry Potter but Cameryn hasn't seen Harry Potter.  Where does she come up with this stuff?

I recorded Beauty & the Beast over Thanksgiving (I just love the 25 days of Christmas on ABC Family!)  Cam said that the Beast wasn't a Beast, it was a tiger and she refers to the Beast as "Tiger Beast."  I, being the girly person that I am, was sure to point out Belle!  After all, what girl doesn't like a princess?! 
Mine.  Duh.  What was I thinking? 
For two weeks, we have had to skip every scene with Belle and go right to the "Tiger Beast." 
This morning Cameryn and I sat down to have breakfast together.  I put her breakfast on a Disney princess plate that has Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora on it.  She said, "Look Mommy!  It's Belle!  I like Belle!" 

I did a little happy dance. 

YES! 

She may be my kid after all.