Six weeks already?

11:10 PM

Has it really been four weeks since my last post? Wow. So, while I have been home, I've discovered that Will & Grace reruns are on Lifetime every single day for several hours. I love me some Karen! And, I am also relieved to know that the Lifetime channel actually is good knot something.

 And, speaking of tv, Big Brother is back! Any other BB lovers out there? Any early favorites or predictions?

Jordin is growing like a weed. She weighs a whopping twelve pounds at six weeks! I apparently produce heavy cream instead of regular breastmilk. I'm really trying to exclusively breastfeed as long as we are both comfortable and doing well. She seems to have a much better latch than Cameryn did so I am much more relaxed when she nurses. She is currently nursing every 2-3 hours, morning and night. She sleeps well, for the most part, but because of her reflux she hates to be flat. The first few weeks she slept on the boppy pillow and currently she is asleep in her crib on her side. She already sleeps better, and longer, than Cameryn did at this age. I am so thankful because I was a complete zombie until Cam was a toddler due to lack of sleep!

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not so dumb about it this time around. I don't rock her to sleep like I did Cameryn and when she cries or fusses in her crib I don't immediately run to pick her up. She really is a good baby and has such a mild temperament. She is starting to smile when she sees us and she laughs in her sleep, which I think is hilarious. What do they dream about?

Cameryn hasn't adjusted well, at all, to her sister. I had this fear that it would happen. She does love her, but hates that she is no longer the center of attention. She has spent a lot of time with Chris lately but what she really needs is more mommy time! Her attitude stinks and she thinks that I cannot see her while I am nursing Jordin and tries to get away with everything. We have really tried to make her feel special, but this week has been challenging. I feel so bad for her because she is going through a big change, but at the same time I want her to get over it already. The nightly tantrums have resulted in her room being stripped of all of the things that she loves and she has to earn them back one good day at a time. We do have a pile of gifts for her that we have pulled from when she has an especially good day. I know it's a phase and it's already better than it was a few weeks ago, but oh my goodness, I am so ready for it to be over! Keeping her on a schedule has been the best thing for her. I don't know what I would do if she was at home instead of school everyday. I am so not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I love my girls wholeheartedly, but I would, for sure, be keeping vodka in a listerine bottle if I was at home all day everyday with the both of them!

As for me, I am hanging in there. The days and nights can be long but I am really trying to soak up every moment with my girls. I know that Jordin will grow so quickly and I cannot believe how old Cameryn looks to me now. I used to look at her and see some "baby" features but as soon as Jordin was born, somehow they disappeared!

I had my postpartum checkup yesterday and was not cleared to go back to work and instead I was referred to a chiropractor, immediately, to have my back adjusted to see if it would provide some relief for my tailbone and lower back. I am still having a lot of pain in my lower back, especially at night, and I still do not sit comfortably in a hard chair thanks to the tailbone. Basically, I'm a mess! A dislocated tailbone is such a stupid injury. Otherwise, physically, I am great. I did lose all of the 17lbs that I gained while pregnant, plus two more. Hopefully once I am able to workout again (I am dying to run again!) that I will be able to drop a few more pounds and and tighten up.

Mentally, I am okay. I am broken hearted as my beloved Nana passed away two weeks ago. We all traveled up to NC for her memorial. I miss her every single day. We all stayed at her house and I kept waiting for her to walk in at any moment. And then, last week, I had the strangest experience. My Nana always used Jergens lotion, in the cherry almond scent. While I was putting Cameryn into the car I got a whiff of that scent and it stuck with me for the next twenty minutes or so. There was no one else around and I'm sure that I looked completely insane sniffing the air like a dog, but it was so incredibly real.

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