Why so silent?

4:51 PM

I've thought a lot about what to do with my little corner of the internet with the decision of... nothing.  I like it here but haven't felt compelled to sit down and write anything.  Do I have a lot to say?  Probably, but lately the act of sitting down and telling my story to document it is slim to none.

I'm tired.
I'm busy.
I sit in front of a computer all day and the last thing that I want to do at the end of my day is sit down at my computer to keep typing.
I accepted a new position at work and to put it mildly - it's KICKING MY ASS.  I'm working super hard, harder than I have ever before.  I'm succeeding, which is an awesome thing, but until I have a few months under my belt in this position, I feel the pressure.  I'm really competitive and being in a sales position, I compete with the people around me on a weekly basis to make my numbers.  Not just so I can get paid, but because I MUST WIN AT EVERYTHING.  And I'm not. Which drives me even more to try even harder, so that my name comes up on the board at the end of the week.  But also because I have to pay my bills.  And to be honest, there's a lot of them and it's stressful.  Not just because of Christmas, that only adds to it, but because of poor financial decisions early on in our marriage.  Things are looking up, and things will get better (soon!) but until those things do, we stress.

But, here's a rundown of what's been going on in Laurin Land:

  • The girls had a well check-up yesterday.  Cameryn was 45" and 42lbs, which puts her on the tall and slim side.  Jordin was 34" and 28lbs, which puts her on the super tall on chunky side. They're both healthy and happy and they talk my ear off from the moment they wake up until the moment they finally fall asleep.  Jordin is a funny little girl who keeps us laughing and Cameryn is turning into a little lady much too quickly.

  • We lost a family friend, my Nana's BFF actually, and it felt like I lost my Nana all over again.  I've had a really hard time this holiday season, little things remind me of my grandparents and I've realized how lucky I was to be able to spend so much of my life with them.  And then, one day, I heard this song while driving down the road and I had to pull over because the tears were falling fast and I couldn't see.  This song took me right back to their house, to the pier on the sound where we spent so much of our time.

  •  I ran 9.5 miles in two days.  I had no idea that I had it in me.  I haven't ran that many total miles in one week in months.  I felt pretty badass.  I remembered why I run, how good it felt to get in the zone and just go. 
  • We took the dog to see Santa.  And this is the result.  Cam's face kills me!
  • Last night Cameryn and I were able to welcome home a soldier from Afghanistan!  It was incredible.  If you've ever doubted what these families go through, the struggle, the constant worry, the physical toll that it takes on everyone involved, I assure you that it's real.  And I promise you that the joy that I saw in his wife's eyes and the unexplainable excitement of his two year old daughter makes every difficult moment worth it.  Just seeing the three of them together brought tears to our eyes.  The spirit of Christmas was in that room last night, I know it. 

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